I had not planned to write an entry today. I was busy staying busy as I try to be to keep from thinking too much about the upcoming holiday. The Christmas that the world has created puts so much pressure on us to be "Merry" (in its definition) that we can lose the joy of the Real Christmas Story. When we focus on the presents, the football games, the trees, the parties and even the birth of Jesus, we can miss the real Christmas story...the story that should put joy into Christmas for anyone.
Because of the Real Christmas Story I can have joy this Christmas. I may not be "Merry", but I can still be joyful over what this time of year really means. You see, because of "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey used to say, I am assured of someday being reunited with Bonnie and all believers.
Would you please take just four minutes to view the attached video? I received it on Facebook from my friend Jamie Statema of "GO FISH". Thank you Jamie for sharing it with me.
Before you open your presents, before you even go to the candle light service at your church, please watch this video. (Just click on the link below. It should redirect you to the video.) I believe it will help you to understand and capture the true joy that Christmas should bring.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVsTCxUlZLU&feature=player_embedded
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
At His Feet
I am embarrassed to say that, this morning, I opened a book that has been sitting unopened on my desk for almost exactly a year. It is a beautiful leather-bound book. Bonnie gave it to me last Christmas. It is called "At His Feet". It is a daily devotional. I was captivated by it from the moment I picked it off the shelf.
The binding just felt right. Like an old pair of shoes....it just fit my hands. From working around this cabin, my hands are much rougher than this binding. It is smooth and soft. It just feels...well, "right".
As I opened the little book, I wasn't sure at all what to expect from it. I've been disappointed in daily devotionals from time to time, but I should have known this one would be special. Think about who gave it to me and when. Her last Christmas on earth and this was one of her last Christmas presents to me. I should have known.
I am one of those people who will read the first page of a book and then sometimes turn to the last page and read it. I remember the first time I determined to read the bible from cover to cover. I read Revelation first. I was glad I did.
This morning, I opened the little book to January 1. How do you suppose this little devotional is going to start my year in 2011? The title of the entry is "Ultimate Authority" and the scripture is REVELATION 22:13 "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End".
Well then. We might as well get that straight on the front end. If you are going to commit to follow someone or something for an entire year, that someone or something should be pretty special. HE IS. I was captivated.
I naturally turned to the last entry to see how it would end the year. The title is "Final Product" and the scripture is Luke 6:40 "Everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." While I cannot expect to be fully trained in one year, I can pray that I will be more like my teacher. This little book may be one way in which HE is planning to teach me?
Now I was really interested in this book. As a natural way, at least to me, to test this book, I turned to today's entry. December 21. What would the title be? What would it have to say? What do you suppose?
"FIRST LOVE" and the scripture is Revelation 2:4. "You have forsaken your first love". When I read the title, I gasped. Then when I read the scripture and the page below it, I realized God had put this book on that shelf, through Bonnie, for today; as a way for me to begin planning my next year; as a way to "remember Bonnie and honor Him".
When I read the title, I naturally thought of Bonnie. As I read the scripture I thought of Him. As I continued to read the words on today's entry, I thought of both of them together. Can you imagine Bonnie with her first true love? (I was her second. I knew that. That was fine with me.) She is singing His praises and He is smiling over it. What a wonderful thing to imagine.
I don't think Bonnie let her first love grow stale, do you? It grew deeper and more resolute. It grew stronger and even more supple. The roots of her love for her Lord continued to grow deep into the soil of the scripture and her branches grew toward the heavens in a way that never broke. She stayed the course and reached her goal. She has given me a goal of my own. She passed that goal on to others as well. She became more like her teacher.
Last evening as I returned to this cabin from a visit to Shelley, Ben and Lexi I knew I wanted to write an entry here. I opened this site last night but the words did not come. I took Hobo out for his last walk of the evening and looked up into the sky. It was a full moon and I needed no flashlight. I knew this was going to be a special dawn.
About 5:30 I awoke to something that Bonnie and I love about this cabin. We face West and look out over six miles of open water. The moon was setting! It was huge. The light from it shone across the lake and the reflection of it on the calm water came directly at me. I immediately thought of her. I then thought of the one who set that moon in place and told the waters "you will go this far and no farther".
Later this morning I opened that little book on my desk and read: "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End".
On this journey I am beginning to understand that things do not just happen. Unlikely men don't just happen to show up in a park. A young nurse doesn't just happen to tell me to give myself a break and go for a walk. Wives don't just happen to give their husbands a little leather-bound book that sits on a shelf for a year before being opened at the precise time it is needed. I could go on and on with these "don't just happens", but as these entries continue, I pray we will all understand better and become more like the teacher. Let's pray that for each other during 2011 and as we continue this journey....together.
The binding just felt right. Like an old pair of shoes....it just fit my hands. From working around this cabin, my hands are much rougher than this binding. It is smooth and soft. It just feels...well, "right".
As I opened the little book, I wasn't sure at all what to expect from it. I've been disappointed in daily devotionals from time to time, but I should have known this one would be special. Think about who gave it to me and when. Her last Christmas on earth and this was one of her last Christmas presents to me. I should have known.
I am one of those people who will read the first page of a book and then sometimes turn to the last page and read it. I remember the first time I determined to read the bible from cover to cover. I read Revelation first. I was glad I did.
This morning, I opened the little book to January 1. How do you suppose this little devotional is going to start my year in 2011? The title of the entry is "Ultimate Authority" and the scripture is REVELATION 22:13 "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End".
Well then. We might as well get that straight on the front end. If you are going to commit to follow someone or something for an entire year, that someone or something should be pretty special. HE IS. I was captivated.
I naturally turned to the last entry to see how it would end the year. The title is "Final Product" and the scripture is Luke 6:40 "Everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." While I cannot expect to be fully trained in one year, I can pray that I will be more like my teacher. This little book may be one way in which HE is planning to teach me?
Now I was really interested in this book. As a natural way, at least to me, to test this book, I turned to today's entry. December 21. What would the title be? What would it have to say? What do you suppose?
"FIRST LOVE" and the scripture is Revelation 2:4. "You have forsaken your first love". When I read the title, I gasped. Then when I read the scripture and the page below it, I realized God had put this book on that shelf, through Bonnie, for today; as a way for me to begin planning my next year; as a way to "remember Bonnie and honor Him".
When I read the title, I naturally thought of Bonnie. As I read the scripture I thought of Him. As I continued to read the words on today's entry, I thought of both of them together. Can you imagine Bonnie with her first true love? (I was her second. I knew that. That was fine with me.) She is singing His praises and He is smiling over it. What a wonderful thing to imagine.
I don't think Bonnie let her first love grow stale, do you? It grew deeper and more resolute. It grew stronger and even more supple. The roots of her love for her Lord continued to grow deep into the soil of the scripture and her branches grew toward the heavens in a way that never broke. She stayed the course and reached her goal. She has given me a goal of my own. She passed that goal on to others as well. She became more like her teacher.
Last evening as I returned to this cabin from a visit to Shelley, Ben and Lexi I knew I wanted to write an entry here. I opened this site last night but the words did not come. I took Hobo out for his last walk of the evening and looked up into the sky. It was a full moon and I needed no flashlight. I knew this was going to be a special dawn.
About 5:30 I awoke to something that Bonnie and I love about this cabin. We face West and look out over six miles of open water. The moon was setting! It was huge. The light from it shone across the lake and the reflection of it on the calm water came directly at me. I immediately thought of her. I then thought of the one who set that moon in place and told the waters "you will go this far and no farther".
Later this morning I opened that little book on my desk and read: "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End".
On this journey I am beginning to understand that things do not just happen. Unlikely men don't just happen to show up in a park. A young nurse doesn't just happen to tell me to give myself a break and go for a walk. Wives don't just happen to give their husbands a little leather-bound book that sits on a shelf for a year before being opened at the precise time it is needed. I could go on and on with these "don't just happens", but as these entries continue, I pray we will all understand better and become more like the teacher. Let's pray that for each other during 2011 and as we continue this journey....together.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
1 Peter 5:10
"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. "
As she closed a heartfelt and oh so helpful e-mail a friend from my past, who has suffered a terrible loss in her own life wrote: "So, keep putting one foot in front of the other for a little while longer" and then, she quoted the scripture above.
After reading that e-mail the morning slipped by. I've kept busy doing the things I felt like doing. Hobo and I have walked up to the cemetery and I've measured the water depth by the dock. I've even begun to sand sheet rock seams that have gone untended for many months as we fought Bonnie's illness and I attempt to put one foot in front of the other now.
The thinking about the e-mail and the scripture has gone on however.
The subject that began our 'discussion' was what I described to her as "hitting a wall" over the weekend. Having been a long distance runner many years ago, I knew what becoming tired was like during runs. I could, as most runners do, run through the majority of those episodes. Occasionally, however, even experienced runners will experience what we call "hitting a wall". You may have run through several, normal episodes of tiredness on a particularly long run, but then, your body just refuses to cooperate. You mind cannot make your body go on. You just can't put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, it will force you to the curb and you are finished for the day. You are exhausted. You've reached an altogether different level of tired.
That was what happened to me over the weekend....in an emotional, mental way. I hit a wall.
It had been six weeks since Bonnie's funeral. I've written a partial, surface description of the depth of my grief, and yet, it was seeming to get better. The losses of breath were occurring less often. The tears were not as plentiful as they had been. I was still missing Bonnie terribly, but I was getting better.
Then the wall. As my friend, Judy, and I corresponded about this I found she understood. She expected this to happen. She also regretted not warning me. She described it perfectly as moving from grief to longing. She described it as being like the difference between poverty and abject poverty. She said "there is 'missing someone' and there is 'yearning and longing' for them. Yearning and Longing is the superlative of missing someone". I call it a different, deeper and quite honestly, scarier level of missing someone.
It reminded me that this is not a short term prospect. This is not something that someone 'gets over' quickly...or ever. Those of us who have experienced a loss such as this want to be whole again. We want to be who we were again. We want what will never be. We will not be who we were before.
I've described it this way: Up until October 30th I had always been "US". Now I am "ME". I do not have a definition of who "ME" is. I'm not even sure if I like "ME". I will never be "US" again.
As I realized that over the weekend, I think that was what made me hit that wall. This was an entirely different prospect. It moved "missing" to a whole new level. It moved it to an understanding that I am never to be "US" again.
Then came Judy's e-mail and the equivalent of "a little yellow piece of paper". There was a scripture. There was a promise....."After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. "
This promise told me that no, I won't ever be "US" again on this earth, but, Christ is not finished with me yet. He has not abandoned me just because I feel a yearning or longing. He won't throw me away. This period of time to me is long, but compared to eternity it is but "a little while".
For now, I'll just keep on putting one foot in front of the other. And, after "a little while"....
As she closed a heartfelt and oh so helpful e-mail a friend from my past, who has suffered a terrible loss in her own life wrote: "So, keep putting one foot in front of the other for a little while longer" and then, she quoted the scripture above.
After reading that e-mail the morning slipped by. I've kept busy doing the things I felt like doing. Hobo and I have walked up to the cemetery and I've measured the water depth by the dock. I've even begun to sand sheet rock seams that have gone untended for many months as we fought Bonnie's illness and I attempt to put one foot in front of the other now.
The thinking about the e-mail and the scripture has gone on however.
The subject that began our 'discussion' was what I described to her as "hitting a wall" over the weekend. Having been a long distance runner many years ago, I knew what becoming tired was like during runs. I could, as most runners do, run through the majority of those episodes. Occasionally, however, even experienced runners will experience what we call "hitting a wall". You may have run through several, normal episodes of tiredness on a particularly long run, but then, your body just refuses to cooperate. You mind cannot make your body go on. You just can't put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, it will force you to the curb and you are finished for the day. You are exhausted. You've reached an altogether different level of tired.
That was what happened to me over the weekend....in an emotional, mental way. I hit a wall.
It had been six weeks since Bonnie's funeral. I've written a partial, surface description of the depth of my grief, and yet, it was seeming to get better. The losses of breath were occurring less often. The tears were not as plentiful as they had been. I was still missing Bonnie terribly, but I was getting better.
Then the wall. As my friend, Judy, and I corresponded about this I found she understood. She expected this to happen. She also regretted not warning me. She described it perfectly as moving from grief to longing. She described it as being like the difference between poverty and abject poverty. She said "there is 'missing someone' and there is 'yearning and longing' for them. Yearning and Longing is the superlative of missing someone". I call it a different, deeper and quite honestly, scarier level of missing someone.
It reminded me that this is not a short term prospect. This is not something that someone 'gets over' quickly...or ever. Those of us who have experienced a loss such as this want to be whole again. We want to be who we were again. We want what will never be. We will not be who we were before.
I've described it this way: Up until October 30th I had always been "US". Now I am "ME". I do not have a definition of who "ME" is. I'm not even sure if I like "ME". I will never be "US" again.
As I realized that over the weekend, I think that was what made me hit that wall. This was an entirely different prospect. It moved "missing" to a whole new level. It moved it to an understanding that I am never to be "US" again.
Then came Judy's e-mail and the equivalent of "a little yellow piece of paper". There was a scripture. There was a promise....."After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. "
This promise told me that no, I won't ever be "US" again on this earth, but, Christ is not finished with me yet. He has not abandoned me just because I feel a yearning or longing. He won't throw me away. This period of time to me is long, but compared to eternity it is but "a little while".
For now, I'll just keep on putting one foot in front of the other. And, after "a little while"....
Friday, December 10, 2010
Memories
I was looking through the files on my camera for something else entirely when I happened upon this picture. My heart stopped, along with my breathing, when I saw it. Let me explain why:
This picture was taken last winter, about six months after Bonnie's last chemo session. She was recovering and felt great last winter. We were so happy and enjoying life again.
This particular day was the first time in 15 years of owning our cabin that we'd been here when it snowed. It doesn't do that much in Alabama. We were out walking with Hobo and I stopped to take a couple of pictures. The lake is to my back and, ironically, the cemetery where Bonnie is buried is behind her. Even more ironic is that her grave is just behind that large oak tree over her right shoulder! I chose that very spot for her because of that tree and the view of the lake from there.
This was a very happy day. It brings back wonderful memories of Bonnie walking with Hobo in the snow. She loved to do that in the field up the hill, wearing my huge black jacket that made her look like a little girl wearing her Dad's coat. She was a tiny woman and that jacket just overwhelmed her, but it is very warm and she loved it. I'd be working on the kitchen renovation and suddenly realize my helper was no longer helping....she would be out with Hobo walking in the field.
I am so very thankful this morning for having found that picture. It is helping to bring back some of those many, many wonderful memories. Our good friend Larry was the first one I ever heard say that "we were making memories" as we had fun together. We made a lot of memories, Bonnie and I.
On a recent road trip, my next door neighbor, was asking me about my need to be close to home. As I tried to explain why it was so difficult to be away, this was what finally emerged:
When I am in this cabin, Bonnie is everywhere. She has literally touched everything in it. She has helped me chainsaw every wall, window and door opening. She has purchased and helped me place every piece of furniture. She has dusted every nook and cranny. We laughed in every room.
There are so many good, wonderful, tender, loving memories here that they dilute the painful memories of the last six months. As that happens, I feel better.
When I am away, there are not so many good memories staring me in the face and the intensity of the recent past can overwhelm them. When that happens, I have to get back here so that the good memories can once again 'win'.
I am prayerful that the recent, painful memories will, with time, begin to fade as the older, wonderful memories have. The equaling-out of the intensity of the memories may allow the good ones to 'win' regardless of where I am. There are, after all, over 40 years of wonderful memories.
When I am in this cabin, Bonnie is everywhere. She has literally touched everything in it. She has helped me chainsaw every wall, window and door opening. She has purchased and helped me place every piece of furniture. She has dusted every nook and cranny. We laughed in every room.
There are so many good, wonderful, tender, loving memories here that they dilute the painful memories of the last six months. As that happens, I feel better.
When I am away, there are not so many good memories staring me in the face and the intensity of the recent past can overwhelm them. When that happens, I have to get back here so that the good memories can once again 'win'.
I am prayerful that the recent, painful memories will, with time, begin to fade as the older, wonderful memories have. The equaling-out of the intensity of the memories may allow the good ones to 'win' regardless of where I am. There are, after all, over 40 years of wonderful memories.
I am more confident this morning, after finding this picture and remembering last winter, that with time the good memories will win out.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Exodus 4:14
".....He is already on his way to meet you....".
God anticipated that Moses would need Aaron. He had started Moses' brother on his way to meet Moses before Moses even knew he would need Aaron. I believe He anticipated and prepared for what I would be facing. I believe He will anticipate your needs and prepare for you as well....if you accept Him.
When Bonnie became so extremely ill, was admitted to ICU, and appeared unlikely to live, I called Bonnie's good friend Virginia, who lives about 3 hours away fromNashville South Dakota
What I didn't know was that Virginia and Brenda were in the car together headed toNashville Nashville
They were "already on the way". God knew I'd need them. I did.
When I was in Junior High school or maybe even grade school I met a girl named Judy who went to the same church as I did. We were friends all through High School but have not seen one another more than a couple of times since then.
We connected through e-mail when Bonnie was diagnosed with cancer. She had been through some devastating times also. As we corresponded, she was able to understand my loss. She is able to understand the things that I say or do that require so much explanation to someone who has not walked this walk. Through her understanding has come a stability for me...a reassurance. Did God know I would need her someday? I think He did. Why else would we have reconnected 40+ years out of high school at the exact time I needed her?
Here is one of the 'crazy' things that I wrote to her (I hope she doesn't mind my sharing it)....I think it goes along with this entry:
I cannot say that I know, or can even imagine, why Bonnie had to leave for heaven. I can only say that I am beginning to realize God was, in some way, preparing me for that to happen. There are still times when I do not think I can take another step. There are still times when I have trouble even breathing. But, then, I am able to take that step and that next breath (sometimes it is a gasp). And, then there will be something that gets me through to the next one.
God anticipated that Moses would need Aaron. He had started Moses' brother on his way to meet Moses before Moses even knew he would need Aaron. I believe He anticipated and prepared for what I would be facing. I believe He will anticipate your needs and prepare for you as well....if you accept Him.
When Bonnie became so extremely ill, was admitted to ICU, and appeared unlikely to live, I called Bonnie's good friend Virginia, who lives about 3 hours away from
What I didn't know was that Virginia and Brenda were in the car together headed to
They were "already on the way". God knew I'd need them. I did.
When I was in Junior High school or maybe even grade school I met a girl named Judy who went to the same church as I did. We were friends all through High School but have not seen one another more than a couple of times since then.
We connected through e-mail when Bonnie was diagnosed with cancer. She had been through some devastating times also. As we corresponded, she was able to understand my loss. She is able to understand the things that I say or do that require so much explanation to someone who has not walked this walk. Through her understanding has come a stability for me...a reassurance. Did God know I would need her someday? I think He did. Why else would we have reconnected 40+ years out of high school at the exact time I needed her?
Here is one of the 'crazy' things that I wrote to her (I hope she doesn't mind my sharing it)....I think it goes along with this entry:
Hey Judy:
Do dogs know? Do they understand? I think maybe they do. I also am beginning to think God not only puts people in our path whom we need, He puts Dogs there as well. Crazy? Maybe.
Here is the deal......
Hobo is a mixed Beagle. We've had him around for about three years. I first met him as he was running down the middle of the
Natchez Trace Parkwayone cold, wet winter day as Bonnie and I travelled it to the cabin fromNashville
Natchez Trace Parkwayone cold, wet winter day as Bonnie and I travelled it to the cabin from
He was just a cold, wet, frightened puppy. I had to stop. I called for him to come to me. He was to afraid to come at first. Then, slowly he changed his mind and came to my feet. He laid down on his side, then his back and looked up at me. I said (I'll never forget it) "What? Are you some kind of Hobo or something?"
Bonnie cried out from inside the car..."Oh no, you've named him!" She knew from that instant HOBO was his name and I belonged to him.
He has been by my side ever since. Fishing. Travelling. Building 2000 sq ft of deck.
Painting the dock. Building the garage and guest quarters. Grieving. He has been here.
He was there for Bonnie too. She didn't want him, but she loved him.
He would sit on the couch after her chemo sessions. She would rub his long, satin-soft ears and receive comfort from that. In the end, he was her buddy too. She loved him and he loved her.
How do you comfort a grieving dog? I have no idea. I know he is grieving. He is not quite the same, just as I am not. He is a bit off kilter. just as I am. He misses Bonnie just as I do.
When we walk in the mornings, through the fields and around the lane, we end up at Bonnie's gravesite. He invariably is pulling, tugging, smelling every blade of grass....until we get to Bonnie. Then, quite amazingly, he sits quietly and waits. On me. On her. I think he grieves too. He will wait quietly until I am ready to go. Only then will he leave.
There are five names, actually six including Hobo's, written in the margin of my bible next to Exodus 4:14. They are there to remind me that God anticipated my need and sent them to me...I believe He will anticipate your needs as well.....if you accept His Son!!!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Blessings
A few days ago I found, through Face Book, a long-time and long-lost friend. Bill was the guy who, for some reason, just had to introduce me to a girl he went to high school with. We were Freshmen in college at the time and he insisted we hitch-hike to his home town to meet a girl named Bonnie.
She was a Sophomore in high school and her parents would not let her go on a 'blind date' with me. So, we just met and decided the following week it would not a "blind" date. Five days later found Bill and I hitch-hiking back to his home town so that we could double-date.
You know the rest of that story.
Except that isn't the rest of the story. Bill told me that he had a serious heart condition that led to his being disabled. In addition to that tragic situation, his wife had left him, being unable to deal with his disabilities. A short time ago, another of Bonnie's friends told us how pleased she was that we'd stayed together during Bonnie's health challenges. She said that many marriages end due to one side or the other being unable to 'cope' with situations such as these.
For Bonnie and me this was never an issue. It was never a question. The challenges that Bonnie faced, we faced together. Those challenges brought us closer together. They brought us closer to God.
We were, in fact, closer in our last couple of weeks than we'd ever been before. They were horribly difficult times. But, I remember us commenting that we'd told each other "I love you" more times than at any time previously. God put HIS arms around us those couple of weeks and kept us so close that even the doctors and nurses had trouble getting to us individually. We had been a team, we were a team, we are a team and we will be a team...eternally.
Can you imagine what a blessing it is to have a marriage founded on faith in Jesus? I know that there are many, many happy marriages out there. There are people who have been married for more than 42 years who do not know Jesus or who have not accepted him as their Lord and Savior.
I also know that because of our faith, our love for each other and for Christ hasn't ended. Bonnie is happy. She is victorious. She has thrown off the body that gave her so much pain. She is praising Jesus face to face. Someday, I will be doing that too. That is the difference. That is the blessing.
I am broken hearted that Bonnie is not sitting here beside me helping me to write this. But, she sat beside me for all those years and is the reason I am able to write that I have claimed my spot in Heaven...right beside her.
Did Bonnie make a difference with her time on earth? I know she did for me. I also know that she continues to do so.
Her funeral is a good example of that. Bonnie and I had talked about it. She wanted a funeral that would remember her, but more importantly offer an opportunity for someone to come to know Jesus and accept Him. Was that possible at a funeral?
Last evening my nephew Mark stopped by. He has a lake house just down the lane and was here for the day raking leaves. As he was leaving, he tearfully told me about a couple of men in our neighborhood: One who'd been to the funeral; one who'd been reading these entries. Neither knew Bonnie well but both are being affected by who Bonnie was and by her faith. Because of the funeral, one is asking questions of Mark about his faith, about Bonnie's faith and has started his "walk". Another, having read about her and her life, is feeling the need to see what this 'faith thing' is all about.
How wonderful is that? How precious that is to Bonnie!! These two men have a chance to be eternally grateful for HIS grace because one person lived her life as she did.
There are probably other stories out there as well....stories of how this incredible woman changed lives and how she will continue to do so because of the legacy she leaves us. She would be the first to inject here that it is not because of her that these changes will be made, but because of the one who saved her...Jesus!
My prayer this morning is that these two men will continue to question, to learn, to find out what this "Jesus thing", this "faith thing", this "eternity thing" is all about. My prayer is also that someone else, somewhere will hear about this and "knock" on the door to salvation. That will make Bonnie so very pleased.
She was a Sophomore in high school and her parents would not let her go on a 'blind date' with me. So, we just met and decided the following week it would not a "blind" date. Five days later found Bill and I hitch-hiking back to his home town so that we could double-date.
You know the rest of that story.
Except that isn't the rest of the story. Bill told me that he had a serious heart condition that led to his being disabled. In addition to that tragic situation, his wife had left him, being unable to deal with his disabilities. A short time ago, another of Bonnie's friends told us how pleased she was that we'd stayed together during Bonnie's health challenges. She said that many marriages end due to one side or the other being unable to 'cope' with situations such as these.
For Bonnie and me this was never an issue. It was never a question. The challenges that Bonnie faced, we faced together. Those challenges brought us closer together. They brought us closer to God.
We were, in fact, closer in our last couple of weeks than we'd ever been before. They were horribly difficult times. But, I remember us commenting that we'd told each other "I love you" more times than at any time previously. God put HIS arms around us those couple of weeks and kept us so close that even the doctors and nurses had trouble getting to us individually. We had been a team, we were a team, we are a team and we will be a team...eternally.
Can you imagine what a blessing it is to have a marriage founded on faith in Jesus? I know that there are many, many happy marriages out there. There are people who have been married for more than 42 years who do not know Jesus or who have not accepted him as their Lord and Savior.
I also know that because of our faith, our love for each other and for Christ hasn't ended. Bonnie is happy. She is victorious. She has thrown off the body that gave her so much pain. She is praising Jesus face to face. Someday, I will be doing that too. That is the difference. That is the blessing.
I am broken hearted that Bonnie is not sitting here beside me helping me to write this. But, she sat beside me for all those years and is the reason I am able to write that I have claimed my spot in Heaven...right beside her.
Did Bonnie make a difference with her time on earth? I know she did for me. I also know that she continues to do so.
Her funeral is a good example of that. Bonnie and I had talked about it. She wanted a funeral that would remember her, but more importantly offer an opportunity for someone to come to know Jesus and accept Him. Was that possible at a funeral?
Last evening my nephew Mark stopped by. He has a lake house just down the lane and was here for the day raking leaves. As he was leaving, he tearfully told me about a couple of men in our neighborhood: One who'd been to the funeral; one who'd been reading these entries. Neither knew Bonnie well but both are being affected by who Bonnie was and by her faith. Because of the funeral, one is asking questions of Mark about his faith, about Bonnie's faith and has started his "walk". Another, having read about her and her life, is feeling the need to see what this 'faith thing' is all about.
How wonderful is that? How precious that is to Bonnie!! These two men have a chance to be eternally grateful for HIS grace because one person lived her life as she did.
There are probably other stories out there as well....stories of how this incredible woman changed lives and how she will continue to do so because of the legacy she leaves us. She would be the first to inject here that it is not because of her that these changes will be made, but because of the one who saved her...Jesus!
My prayer this morning is that these two men will continue to question, to learn, to find out what this "Jesus thing", this "faith thing", this "eternity thing" is all about. My prayer is also that someone else, somewhere will hear about this and "knock" on the door to salvation. That will make Bonnie so very pleased.
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