Over the past few months there have been many changes for me. There have been steps forward and there have been steps back. But, at the end of this day, I feel progress is being made.
Today was Shelley's birthday. Another first for both of us. This was her first birthday without her mom being with us. We both felt that absence. Bonnie was a wonderful mom and wife. We missed her today, but we were able to get through it, enjoy the day, love one another and celebrate the life that Bonnie had given to both Shelley and me.
During the day, off and on, we talked of Bonnie and what she had meant to both of us. But, also, during the day, Shelley shared with me that she felt she was getting her Dad back after a three year absence. I've felt that as well....a feeling of coming back. I have felt as if I'd 'been gone' for almost three years now. I'm coming home.
Some of the worst memories of the past three years return from time to time. I explained to Shelley that three or four months ago those memories would hit me like a tidal wave and literally drive me to my knees. Today, they still hit me but I am able to recover within minutes. A vast improvement and for that I am very thankful.
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