Yesterday marked another milestone; another first; another time when grief took on an entirely new dimension. Yesterday was my 63rd birthday. This was the first birthday since I was 19 that Bonnie was not a part.
I was blessed in that there was much activity to distract me. My friend Stan was here. There were half dozen workers here as well; repairing the beachfront rip rap. There was much to keep my mind occupied. But, even through the clatter of trackhoes and dump trucks the dark edges attempted to creep toward center stage. There is just no way that the absence of the major person in your life will go unnoticed. While we never did anything particularly special on our birthdays, neither of us ever missed recognizing the others birthday.
We were like that, Bonnie and I. We weren't ones to go overboard on special occasions. We just acknowledged our love for one another and moved on. What better birthday present than to know your spouse loves you with all her heart? I always knew Bonnie loved me. I pray she always knew I loved her. We were like that.....we just lived and loved. Always,.
Today, I happened to open my e-mail. In the busy-ness of yesterday, I had not done so. There was an e-mail from a good friend of many years. Karen gave me the sad news that her husband of a lifetime had taken his step into heaven. He'd done so on my birthday. At the very time I was struggling with a first in my life, she was struggling with the loss of her lifelong spouse and my friend Bob.
Bob was an ordained minister. He was a fellow elder in our church in Memphis. He was, well a dear friend. He and Karen had moved away several years ago. Bonnie and I missed our Friday evening dinners with Karen and Bob. We'd kept in touch. We'd been close and the miles did not diminish that closeness.
I have a feeling that Bonnie was at the gate to welcome Bob into their new home. What a smile he must have had to see her standing there to welcome him with open arms. Her first dear friend to join her. There will be many more, but Bob was the first.
Karen and I are left on this earth while Bonnie and Bob are with our Lord.
I pray that somehow, and in some way, I can help Karen with her journey. The steps that she will be taking in the coming days are so very, very difficult. She and I will never get over our loss. However, with God's help, we will get through it. While I am so very saddened to have her in this 'club' I find myself in, I am confident that God will carry her, as He has me.
Karen, I am sure that Bonnie closed many telephone calls in this way, but I want to take this time to tell you:
"I love you my friend". If you need anything, you call me....anytime....day or night. I'm here, as is our Lord.
No comments:
Post a Comment