Humble Gratitude

Another 'first' came and went this week.  This was one I have been dreading for quite some time.  Bonnie and I were married on June 7, 1969.  The first anniversary without Bonnie was coming down the track like a freight train and I wasn't sure I was ready or able to get out of the way.

However, go back and read my entry from May 22.  I'd written that it was, perhaps, time to begin to learn to dance again.  Events had been leading up to that, but could I stand, much less dance on the 7th of June?

My sister Brenda, my daughter Shelley, my niece Kacie and, of course, my grand baby Lexi had been here over the weekend.  Shelley and I took Lexi to church with us.  Our little church down the lane always celebrates the birthdays and wedding anniversaries of those present.  When something was said about those having anniversaries next week, I shuddered.  Shelley put her hand on my knee.  How would that unfold?  We were both uncertain.

As "luck" (we all know how I feel about that) would have it, I was scheduled to be in Ohio on June 7.  In fact, the sea trial of the boat I am negotiating to purchase was scheduled for June 7 on Lake Erie.  The morning was hectic with a surveyor, a mechanic, two brokers and me on the boat looking at every inch of her, testing every piece of equipment, and teaching me how it all works and how to maintain her properly. Needless to say, the morning was packed.

When the sea trial was finished Butch, my broker, and I decided it was best if we started back home.  But, on the way home, we were to pass through my old home town of Middletown, Ohio.  Do you remember my writing about my good friend Judy who has been so very helpful to me over these past months?  Well, we were to see her on the way through town.  I had not seen her for 25 years and was looking forward to it.

As with all good friends, the conversation started as if we had just seen one another yesterday.  She is, as she always has been, a delight to be around. 

What do you suppose she brought with her that was so important she wanted to show me?  It was her wedding album!!!  The pictures were 41 years old.  You see she had married Bill a few months after Bonnie and I were married and we had attended her wedding.  One of the pictures in that album was of Bonnie and me going through the receiving line.  I had my hand on Bonnie's back and she was wearing a yellow linen suit.  Yellow was her favorite color....(we'd gone to the wedding in my YELLOW Camaro.)

Why am I telling you this? 

Because instead of breaking down and crying, I was able to smile, even laugh, over the picture.  Judy was totally ignoring everyone else in the line.  We were laughing together.  It was a glorious moment.  When she hugged me, I told Judy "I hope you and Bill will be as happy as Bonnie and I have been".  Memories are coming back...happy ones...painful ones are receding. 

On that day, exactly 42 years after Bonnie and I were married, I was able to smile and even laugh.  Thanks to a friend whom God had put in my path 50 years ago, I was able to dance a few steps when I thought I'd have trouble walking.  But you see, we make our plans, God determines our steps (even to our dance).  I am walking because of Him.  I am even beginning to dance because of Him.

Before I close this entry, I want to digress for a moment.  As I mentioned, I am negotiating to purchase a boat.  It is a beautiful thing and something that has been on my bucket list for quite some time. 

One would think I should be so very excited about purchasing her and I am.  What a privilege it is to be able to do so.  But, I've been struggling with it for some reason.  Part of that is explained by this scripture:  Luke 6:24-26  "Woe to you who are rich, ....who are well fed now,... who laugh now, .....when all men speak well of you."

The devotional entry for today in "At His Feet" was about this very scripture...imagine that..."coincidences" just keep happening. 

A couple of lines from that devotional struck me and certainly helped me to put this in perspective.  "We know from other Bible passages - which Jesus never contradicts - that there is nothing inherently wrong with wealth, food, laughing, and a good reputation.  But these (scriptures above)  are sobering warnings.  Those who take comfort in their wealth, food, pleasure, and reputation - and who ignore God because of them - will be tragically sorry.... If you have them, handle them with care; they are gifts from God, blessings given entirely by the grace of His goodness and not on your merit.  They are no cause for pride, only for humble gratitude."

I am so very thankful for this devotional today.  It explained to me what I'd been struggling with.  It put the ability to purchase "Andante" (the boat) in perspective.  I am humbly grateful to be able to purchase her.  I don't deserve her.  Sure, I worked hard all of my career to earn the money to buy her.  But, many work far harder.  Many are wiser.  It is not of my strength or ability that I am able to do so.  Once again, HIS hand is at play.  I am humbly grateful for this privilege. 

Ecclesiastes had the order correct.....the dance is sweeter following mourning.  For that I am humbly grateful as well.