WAIT!!!!!

Psalm 27:14 tells us to "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

I have written previously in this journal and the Caring Bridge site how extremely difficult this is for me.  I am, by nature, an impatient person.  I have always been driven to get the work done quickly and efficiently.  To 'wait' is not a part of my DNA.  Yet, there is is in Psalm 27 and many other places in the Bible..."wait".

But don't stop reading there.  We are also told to "be strong" and to "take heart".  I believe that also translates into "be calm".  When we "take heart" in the ultimate power of all creation a calm settles over us and we are able to at least appear strong.  When we absolutely, positively put our faith in God, a calm does settle over us, knowing that HE is in control and we just have to wait for His plan to unfold.

During Bonnie's illnesses and then following her death there were many times when I was brought to my knees, knowing there was nothing I could do.  It was in His hands.  His plan was unfolding.  I was required to 'wait'. 

Why is waiting so important a concept?  Perhaps waiting is a giving up of our pride.  When we acknowledge we must wait we are admitting there is nothing we can do.  Then, when the answers come, and they will come, we are able to realize they are HIS answers, not ours.  We are able to give Him the glory for it is by His hands, not our own, that the answer comes.

During these last eight months following Bonnie's death, there was, admittedly despair.  I lost my concentration on Jesus.  I floundered.  But HE never let me drown.  It was not by anything I did that I continued to breathe.  In fact, there were times I wished I would stop.  I was FORCED to just wait.

I didn't see many changes or improvements at first.  Much like night turning to day. 

Have you ever watched that happen?  It can be so dark you can feel it. Imperceptibly, slowly you will discern some inkling of light.  Then a gray starts to take shape.  Then brighter, brighter and the most beautiful of things happens.....the sun rises...it is a beautiful new day. 

When you have watched it turn from deep darkness to a bright new day you realize there was nothing you did to make that happen.  You just waited.  God set it all in motion. 

That new day is fresh, clean, bright and hold promises that you would never have seen had you not come through the darkness and 'waited' for the dawn.  How much more we appreciate the new dawns when we have waited through the darkness.