Thanksgiving II

Thanksgiving has come and gone.  Giving thanks has not.

My time with Ken, Cheryl, Shelley, Ben and of course, Lexi over Thanksgiving was, as you can imagine bittersweet.  Ken and Cheryl (Ben's parents) were very kind and attentive and I appreciate their hospitality.  Ben and Shelley and Lexi always brighten any room for me. 

I found, however, that being away from this little cabin by the lake was very difficult.  There is something about being 'away' for extended periods of time that is disconcerting.  I need to be 'near' home.  Perhaps more accurately, I need to feel close to Bonnie.  When I am away from this place, I feel more disconnected from her and that is just too painful right now.   Another challenge I suppose.

This morning, as I anticipated going to our little church down the lane, I was sitting on the couch where Bonnie most often sat when she read her bible.  I find myself sitting there almost exclusively now.  I was also reading her bible, not mine.  I do that now too.  There is something about touching those pages that she so lovingly turned that puts me in contact with her like nothing else I do.

One prayer that I say almost every time I visit her grave is that she speak to me.  Perhaps, through her bible, she is. 

This morning, when I checked onto my computer there was a note from a long time friend who had lost her husband about a year and a half ago.  Danny and Phyllis, like Bonnie and me, were best friends.  They also shared a love for God and a strong faith that made them special to us.  Phyllis's note to me this morning was gentle, kind, reassuring and beautiful.  She understands the pain and yet she is strengthened by her faith and her knowledge that Bonnie and Danny are doing what they lived to do.   They've reached their goal.  They are victorious.

Her words reassured me that I can get through this time.  She quoted Phillipians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  When I read that, it seemed as if Bonnie had written to me on one of her "little yellow pieces of paper".  Again, maybe Bonnie is speaking to me...through a friend.

I am very thankful for friends who share their faith with me.  I am thankful for friends who reassure me through that faith.  I am thankful for His words, shared with me through others.  Thanksgiving may have come and gone, but giving thanks has not.